


Squiggy's Operation

by SquiggyGirl



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28885059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquiggyGirl/pseuds/SquiggyGirl
Summary: Squiggy must go get his appendix removed.  It's up to Shirley to take charge and get him to the hospital as his 'date' for the evening bailed....  Squiggy has a pretty interesting 'fantasy' while sleeping after his surgery...  how to explain it to Carmine is another story...
Relationships: Shirley Feeney/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman, Shirley Feeney/Carmine Ragusa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> work in progress - may not update for a bit as i've got 2 other stories on the go - we shall see... :)

Squiggy’s operation

“Ugh!” Squiggy said holding his stomach.”  
“What now?” Lenny asked.  
“Um....nothing” replied Squiggy.  
“Is it your appendix?” Lenny demanded.  
“W-what do you know about my appendix?” asked squiggy

Lenny looked at him. “Squiggy, I know you’ve been having issues with your appendix. You mutter about it in your sleep”

“My appendix is fine” Squiggy retorted.  
“”Squiggy....” Lenny began. He had a very bad feeling that something bad was about to happen very soon. But he let it go. There was no point in trying to talk to Squiggy as he was extremely stubborn.

A few days later...... Lenny was out on a date with a girl and had the truck. Evidently they were headed up to Inspiration Point the local make out spot. Squiggy was in the apartment with his date, fooling around. All of a sudden.....

“Um.... Squiggy are you ok?” the girl asked. He had stopped kissing her right in the middle of their romantic interlude.  
“No, no I’m not” he replied. “I’m in a lot of pain.”  
“Y-you’re in pain?”  
“Yeah” he said.  
“D-do you want an ambulance, you don’t look good” she asked.

Squiggy sighed. “Go to apartment A, Laverne & Shirley and get them to come up here. Tell them its an emergency. Please”

The girl got dressed and nodded. She went down to the girls’ apartment and knocked.

Since it was 2am the girls were deep in dreamland and were quit perturbed when they heard someone knocking on the door.

“”Who is it?” Laverne said in an angry voice.  
“Um... it’s Carla, Squiggy’s date.”  
“Why you botherin’ us?”  
“Squiggy needs you two”  
“What?”  
Carla sighed. “Not in that way! Geez Look, his appendix is bothering him, i think it may burst you need to go to him. Please.”

“Shirley” Laverne called.

Before Shirley could reply they heard a cry from the dumb waiter. “HELP”

“Squiggy?” Laverne said and looked at Carla in concern.  
Please help” Squiggy said he was almost crying now.  
“He sounds like he’s in a lot of pain” Shirley said joining them.

Carla looked at the girls. “Just a warning, when you two go up. He’s not dressed.”

Laverne kept in her very sarcastic reply as she didn’t want to make the situation more embarrassing for him. When the girls arrived. Squiggy was lying on his bunk, the blanket covering him.

“Do you want an ambulance?” Shirley asked as she approached him.

Trying to choke back tears of pain, he nodded. “Where’s Carmine or Lenny? I need help getting dressed.”

Shirley looked at him. “Lenny is probably still out since it’s 2am and he’s not home and Carmine is out at that Lucille Lockwash’s house” she replied.

“Uh I gotta go” Carla said.  
“You’re leavin’ me?” Squiggy asked of her.  
“You’re in good hands with these 2 Squiggy” she said and was gone.  
“Nice friend you got there Squig.” Shirley said.

He didn’t reply. 

“Do you want me to help you get dressed Squig?” Shirley asked.

Squiggy tried to give her his signature smirk but he was in too much pain to be able to do so. “Yea, but Laverne, please step out.” 

Laverne nodded and stepped out. 

Squiggy looked at her and gestured to where his clothes were and she helped him get dressed silently.

“Thanks” he said.

This was not the first time Shirley had helped Squiggy out. There was a time a few years back when the two of them had been out together as friends and some nasty bullies in a bar began picking on Squiggy and ended up dumping beer all over him, soaking him to the bone. Squiggy was more inebriated than Shirley so she helped him back home and helped him change into something drier. He never forgot her for helping him. 

Lenny and Laverne had been out on their own dates elsewhere that night. Shirley’s date had called her and cancelled due to the fact he was sick and Squiggy’s date called him and cancelled as she claimed she was washing her hair. Depressed and alone Shirley and Squiggy commiserated at The Pizza Bowl for a few hours then some jerk started to hit on Shirley to which Squiggy stood up for her and then he ended up in a beer fight.....

Laverne knocked on the door “Ambulance will be here in 5. Says only one person can go with him.” 

Squiggy looked at Shirley. “Please” was all he said. His brown eyes welling up with tears.

Shirley smiled and nodded and gathered a few items for him and put it in an overnight bag. “Laverne, you carry his bag, i’m going to help him down the stairs” she said.

Laverne carried the bag as Shirley guided Squiggy into the waiting ambulance. 

“Yes Andrew Squigman, appendix, I’m Shirley Feeney, his friend” Shirley said.

Ten minutes later the ambulance arrived at the hospital and Squiggy was brought in and Shirley was led to the waiting area until Squiggy was registered and brought to a room.

It took about 30 minutes before the nurse came back out. “He’s in a room now. He’s all doped up and ready for the surgery.” she said.

“Was the appendix ready to rupture?”  
“Had he not been brought in when he was, it could have seriously been a lot worse. Miss Feeney, he is a very lucky young man.”  
“Can I see him?”  
“He’s loopy, but yes. He’ll be going into surgery within an hour or so” 

Shirley went into his room and she saw he was staring at the wall”

“Squiggy?”  
“HI Shirley” he said in an unusually strange voice.  
“Squig, don’t worry I’ll be waiting for you in recovery with Laverne and Lenny after your surgery.”  
“No surgery” he stated and tried to get out of bed.  
“Yes Squiggy, you need the surgery to remove your appendix.”  
“NO” he said and threw off the blanket and got out of bed. Since he was doped up and felt no pain, but unfortunately for him, he still felt a draft from the hospital gown once he got out of bed.

“Um..: he began and looked at Shirley.  
“Yes it’s a hospital gown Squig.” she confirmed.

He blushed and tried to get back into the bed but he lost his balance and fell. “Shirl, help,” he said.

At the most inopportune moment for both of them, Lenny, Laverne happened to ether the room just as Shirley was helping him up to his feet.

“Shirley,” Laverne said.  
“Squiggy” Lenny said.

Shirley let go of Squiggy hoping he’d land on the bed,but he grabbed onto her and a minor tussle occurred between them as he didn’t want to fall, but just as she did that the gown came untied and fell off. 

The nurse walked in and stared at them and shook her head.

Ten minutes later, Squiggy was back in bed with his hospital gown on and Shirley sat beside him comforting him. Lenny and Laverne had gone back to the waiting room.  
“It’s ok Squig...” she began.

“It’s ok? Never in my life have I ever been so humiliated Shirl!” he said and covered his head with the blanket.

Shirley didn’t actually know how to make him feel better. She knew each of them had their share of embarrassing situations but Squggy’s topped them all.

“I don’t know what i can do to make you feel better.”  
“Promise me nobody will say a word.”  
“I know I won't nor will Lenny and Laverne as for the nurse well it would be very unethical for her to say anything.”

“I’m getting sleepy now Shirl. I think the meds are starting to work. They will be coming to get me soon” he said.

Shirley nodded and left the room. “See you later Squig”

She left the room and ten minutes he was in the OR and the doctors were operating and he was sound asleep.

“Miss Feeney, Andrew is asking about you” the nurse said to Shirley who was waiting in the waiting room. She had gone home, gotten dressed and went back to the hospital. She didn’t think jammies were appropriate for a hospital visit. 

Shirley followed the nurse to recovery. He was lying there, his hair messed up and looking a little ragged.

“Hi Squig” she said with a partial smile. “How are you feeling?”  
“Well... uh” he began and blushed.  
“No nothing happened” she answered for him before he could ask the question.  
“I don’t remember much of what happened between the time I was admitted into the hospital and my surgery. They had me on potent pain killers.” he said.  
“Squig you don’t remember anything?”  
“Not much. I remember you being in the ambulance with me. Carla leaving and then once I was in my room they pumped me full of meds” he said.

Oh no, she thought. He doesn’t remember anything that happened. I know Laverne and I know she’ll tease him a little in private. She’s done that before.

“Shirley, you haven’t said anything - w-what happened?”

She sighed. She knew she’d better tell him. “W-ell let’s say there was a mishap with the hospital gown” she said.

“Oh really” he said and shrugged.  
“Lenny, Laverne and a nurse walked in as i was helping redress you” she added.  
“OK” he said and looked away.  
“N-none of them saw anything except your butt cheeks” she added.

He looked at her. “And you?”?

She couldn’t look him in the eye. Squiggy blushed again and covered his head with the blanket. 

Shirley decided she was gonna even the score. She unbuttoned her blouse and took it off and put on a hospital gown over her pants. She was going to flash him.  
“Squig”  
“Yea”  
“Please unhide yourself”  
“I’m too embarrassed”  
“I’ll make it worth your while”  
He uncovered himself and stared at her. “Y-you’ve got nothin’ but the hospital gown on?”  
“Oh top Squig” she sighed and opened the gown so she exposed her breasts to him.

Squiggy sucked in his breath. “Are you ok?”

He nodded and she rolled her eyes at him, she took her hand in hers and let him touch her breasts.

Squiggy groaned.

“What happened now?”  
“I am so embarrassed”  
“Why this time?”  
“Look at me!” he said.

Shirley looked at him and well just touching her caused him to get hard.

“What can I do?”  
“Since i can’t avoid any further humiliation, get me to the shower”

“WHAT?”  
“Please Shirl” he said

Shirley helped him out of bed and assisted him in the shower.

“Can you turn on the tap and fix it for me” he asked.  
“I suppose you’d like me to get in with you?” she said.  
“I don’t think i can handle that?”  
“WHAT?”  
“Well I’m already hot and sweaty and any further comment or action will send my temperature and hormones soaring.” he replied.  
“You want me don’t you Andrew” Shirley said in a husky voice.  
“Um....” he said. He was speechless as Shirley had stripped off everything. 

“Let's say you and I go at it in the shower sexy” she said in a husky voice.  
“Sexy? Shirl are you on something?”  
“No, I finally realized what i’ve been missing all these years.”  
“Shirley, um. I dunno if i can right now”  
“Ohhh Andrew, you’ve been wantin’ me for years and you’re now not in the mood” she teased.  
“Um it’s not that - this is a hospital shower it just ain’t right” 

Shirley stood there water hitting her breasts and she stared at him. “I want you i want you now” 

“Shirley, I can't now ! maybe late, r this is a hospital!” he muttered and then woke up..... He wasn’t in the shower with Shirley, he was lying in his bed. He looked around and saw six sets of eyes staring at him.

Lenny just looked embarrassed and both Shirley and Laverne were staring at him in shock.

“Um...hello” he managed.”

“Excuse me” she said and left the room with Laverne following.

He turned to Lenny. “Len? H-how much did they hear, what did they hear!??”

“W-well you had some kind of wet dream about you and Shirley in the shower. You were about to get down and dirty in the hospital shower Squig”

“Oh” he said.

“She was tryin’ to make me feel better - evidently it was just a dream / fantasy. Um Len... s-she was trying to make me feel better because of the um gown falling off...and um... did that actually happen??”

Lenny half-smiled sheepishly. “Yea it did” he said.

“I’m never gonna live this down.”

A few days later Squiggy was cleared to go home and Lenny picked him up and took him back to the apartment. Squiggy was still too embarrassed to face either of the girls, especially Shirley. 

Shirley meanwhile had never really had feelings for Squiggy. She liked him as a friend and would be there for him and Lenny when they needed her and vice versa but romantic feelings no.

“Why don’t you go up there and talk to him Shirl.” Laverne suggested.

“Everytime i attempt to talk to him he blushes 3 shades of red and mutters something about his moth collection”’ she said. 

Laverne shook her head. “That must have been some meds for him to be that uninhibited.” 

“Even when he’s drunk he is not like that,” Lenny said.

Lenny had just walked into the girls apartment and joined them on the sofa.

“HI Len.”

“Is he still not talking to you either?” Shirley asked.

“He won’t make eye contact. He mutters but that’s all. That talking in his sleep really messed him up.”

“Has he always had a secret crush on me Len?” Shirley aske.d

“You know Squiggy” Lenny began and looked away.  
“Lenny” Laverne began.

Lenny sighed. “He’ll kill me if i say anything!”

“Is that why he’s so obnoxious? Because he harbored a crush on me”

“Squiggy is Squiggy,” Lenny said brushing off the directness of her question. 

“He has very low confidence to be honest. He figured he’d be a big man on campus and such and he’d be popular.” Lenny said. “It wasn’t easy for him at school y’know”

“We went to school with him too, Len we know.” Shirley said.

“He figured he couldn’t get the one he truly wanted so he figured he’d just get any girl that would go out with him.” Lenny said.

“He did try to ask me out a few times, but Carmine scared him off.” Shirley said.

Shirley shook her head. “I’d better go talk to him.” she said.

“Squiggy?” she said as she knocked on the door.  
“Yea?”  
“Can we talk?”  
“No”  
“Please. I really want to talk”  
He opened the door. He looked horrible, unshaven, messy hair and still wearing PJs.

“We gotta talk”  
“I know Lenny told you everything. I heard thru the dumb waiter.”

“Squiggy, you’re not making things easy for me. I do like you but as a friend”

He looked at her. “It’s gonna be hard for me to face you Shirl, I mean you heard my inner most private thoughts, my f-fantasies. It's so embarrassing” he said.

She nodded. “Is there anything that i could do to cheer you up” 

Squiggy blushed in response.

“Except that!” Shirley said.

“Never breathe this to anyone. “He said. “No teasing me no nothing. We put this ordeal behind us.” 

“Well Lenny and Laverne need to be reminded not to say anything. I won’t say a word. Well can I tell Carmine?”

“Tell Carmine? He’ll beat me to a crisp if he knew”

“Knew what Squig?” Carmine said.

Carmine lived in the apartment right across from Lenny & Squiggy.

“Um Squig?” Shirley said.

“Go ahead.” he said and sighed.

“While doped up on painkillers as he was in the hospital to have his appendix removed. Squiggy had a rather interesting dream...”Shirley began.

“Squiggy always talks in his sleep. It’s quite interesting what i hear, ``Carmine said with a laugh.

“This one was about me,” she said.

Carmine stopped laughing and glared at Squiggy.


	2. 100% smut!

"You have dreams about Shirley?" Carmine repeated.

"It's very embarrassing to admit Carmine" Squiggy began. "Well...you know i uh had my appendix out..." he began.

Squiggy started sputtering and stammering so much so that he couldn't continue. 

Shirley quickly filled Carmine in on that whole ordeal. She had no secrets from Carmine. 

"You called on MY girlfriend to help get you to the hospital .... "began Carmine.

"Carmine relax" Shirley began.

"it was a dream Carmine - nothing happened between us."

"Except your wet dream and muttering things" Carmine said.

"Y-you know?"

"Squiggy, you're right across the hall from me. I hear you talkin' in your sleep all the time. Both you and Lenny" he said. "I just didn't catch on that this last one was of you and Shirley. So you actually flashed her?"

"I didn't flash her on purpose! i was under the influence of those pain killers. Man this is embarrassing! " He said and wished he could disappear. 

Carmine heard his name being called. "um I uh gotta go"

Shirley glared at Carmine. "Who is it... that Lucille Lockwash woman?"

Carmine looked sheepish. "Yea" he said.

Shirley glared at Carmine. "You have the nerve to get on Squiggy's case about a wet dream about me yet you're still fooling around with Lucille?"

"Well I ain't gettin any from you! I gotta get it somehow. I'm tired of cold showers!"

Squiggy looked from Carmine to Shirley. Shirley was ready to cry.

"Go to Lucille Carmine just get outta my apartment!" Squiggy said. "I thought i was a player. but no You're the player Carmine Ragusa!." 

Carmine glared at Squiggy and then looked at Shirley. "I'm sorry Angelface" 

"Good bye Carmine" Shirley said and he left the apartment.

Shirley turned to Squiggy and burst into tears. 

"Hey hey. don't cry" he said.

Shirley did something she never thought she'd do. She initiated a very deep kiss with Squiggy.

"Um Shirl?" he began.

Shirley shoved him down hard on his bed and didn't care one way or another and kissed him more. The more she kissed him the more he responded. 

"Oh my Andrew...you're um..." she said.

He blushed. "You took me by surprise with that kiss"

"I never knew a small guy could actually be so big" she said and caressed his cheek.

Squiggy looked at her. "You just broke up with Carmine... is this a good idea? I don't like the idea I'm a rebound"

"Squiggy. Maybe you're a rebound or maybe not. I don't know" she began "but right now I am feelin' something I've never felt before."

Squiggy was speechless. In all honesty it was his fantasy to make passionate love to Shirley Feeney, to be the one to take her virtue. Squiggy had been with many women over the years but the only woman he actually had any real feelings for was standing in front of him. Squiggy had always been terrified of his feelings for her. He had always come across as the brash, rude and very lustful person who just went after a girl even if she didn't want him. He had teased Shirley but never went to far with her... until tonight when she was putting the moves on him.

"Are you sure?" he said.

"Squiggy I'm stripping right in front of you - with absolutely no shame. Yes I'm sure" she said.

"What about Lenny?"

"Lock the door to keep him out and yell down the dumbwaiter to stay downstairs" she replied.

She stood there in her bra and panties. He walked over to her and gave her a kiss. Then he stripped off his pants and shirt leaving just underwear.

"I'll get the rubber" he said and gulped loudly.

She stood behind him and caressed his chest and liberated him of his underwear as he slipped the condom on. He was hard and very excited by this time. They faced each other and he reached around to undo her bra and fortunately it came off very quickly. He played with her breasts as she caressed his back down to his bum. HE liberated her of her panties and they stood in front of each other naked. ... taking in each others bodies.

They laid on Squiggy's bed and well..... 

Down in Laverne & Shirley's apartment ....................

"I-is that Shirley?" Lenny said to Laverne.

They were in the girls' apartment watching a Godzilla movie.

Lenny & Laverne went closer to the Dumbwaiter and listened.

"it's Shirley..."Lenny said

"And Squiggy?" Laverne said.

"Um...Should we tell them we can HEAR them?" Lenny said. "This will get kinda embarrassing if they don't quiet down"

"Oh my.... I thought Squiggy's um... sex dream was explicit... this is wow....." Laverne said 

Both Lenny and Laverne looked at each other and blushed. 

Fifteen minutes later..........

"Thank you for dinner Squig - you are a decent cook..." Shirley said.

"Well as long as you provide the desert I'll be happy to oblige"

"Well I have the whipped cream don't I" she said and showed him the can.

Squiggy giggled then was about to say something else but stopped.... "Do you hear something from the dumb waiter?

Squiggy & Shirley listened...... "Lenny?" Shirley said and put her hand over her mouth.  
"Laverne?"

Then they realized something.

"I-we can hear them goin' at it... that means they heard us!" Shirley said.

"They are extra loud and crude to get back at us for bein' loud?" Squiggy said aloud. "We better be extra loud next time"

"Squig we better be careful as to whom else can hear us..." she cautioned.

"The other tenants don't care" 

"I care. We don't want to be gossiped about" 

"We better head down to tell the others to keep it down meanwhile we'll have to keep it down ourselves"


	3. Chapter 3

Before anyone else in the building barged in on Lenny & Laverne, Shirley and Squiggy went down to Shirley's apartment and knocked on the door, giving the two lover birds time to get themselves decent.

"Come in" Laverne said.

Squiggy and Shirley entered the apartment. "Hello" Squiggy said.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the four of them. 

"Um.. I'll start. " Shirl, Squig, I'm very happy for your um new found love for one another. The walls are thin and the dumbwaiter echos...." Laverne began.

"Yea I know. We were coming down to tell you the same thing." Shirley said.

"We obviously can't let Edna and my Pop hear anything."

"We've heard _him._ Squiggy said.

Laverne shuddered. "Can we get off that topic please. We just need to discuss the four of us"

"Ya wanna have a foursome?" Lenny said.

Laverne rolled her eyes. "I love you but you're a big dope." she told him.

"We four just have to keep our sound effects low when we're together" Shirley clarified for him.

Squiggy nodded. "It's hard to do that though Shirley. I mean, heh, you take my breath away and you make my toes curl you're so awesome." he said and immediately blushed. "It's embarrassing to admit that" 

Shirley answered him with a kiss.

"We gotta set some ground rules so we don't walk in on each other." Squiggy said.

"One pair upstairs and one pair down here and every so often we switch locations." Laverne added.

"NO foursomes" Lenny added his 2 cents.

"I love all of you but ya no foursomes. That would be kinda awkward wouldn't it?" Shirley said.

The others nodded. "Yea we don't need any more awkwardness between the four of us." Squiggy said.

" _Any **more** awkwardness?" _Laverne asked.

"We've heard each other having sex Laverne. How much more awkward can it get?" Shirley said.

"Walking in on each other" Squiggy suggested.

"We shouldn't be uncomfortable really, in reality we've all seen each other naked in a way." Lenny said.

"When have we seen each other naked Lenny?" Shirley asked.

"Well...." he began. "I'd rather not say."

"Enough is enough. Ground rules as stated. if we're continuing these relationships we need to adhere to these rules." Squiggy said.

Lenny and Laverne sauntered up to the boys' apartment where they first indulged in a little game of cards then they got frisky.

Squiggy and Shirley had to be careful as although Squiggy had had his operation and was recovering well. During one of hte last times they had had sex, Squiggy pulled a muscle and they agreed never to try THAT again. They engaged in a little shower play then light making out in her bed leading to more. 

For the quartet of Knapp street - all was good. They were happy and satisfied with the way things in their lives were going.


End file.
